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Thursday, October 08, 2015

After the Prom: Giovanni's Diagnosis

 
 

Quality of Life ~ difficult to define and, at the very least, an elusive phrase. It comes to mind when diagnosed with a terminal disease. It is often used when someone is near the end of the journey.

 I think about it everyday, although I am not sure how long my diagnosis with an aggressive form of prostate cancer will keep me here. I am on a mission to keep at least this end game on a qualitative level.

The current go-to treatment is periodic Lupron injections. It is no day at the beach.  These links will give you an indication of what it’s like.

 

 


 

My oncologist is fond of saying that men diagnosed with prostrate cancer tend to die of something else. I think he may not have had an anti-androgen experience. I am not quite sure what he means. Do we all get hit by buses while experiencing a crying jag? My guess is some of the side effects get to my brethren.

 As I write this I am experiencing my second (or is it, my third?) hot flash of the day.

Very ironic that it is the suppression of androgen and testosterone which leads me to the end of the road. It can be said that hormones have been at the heart of the motivating factors in my life’s journey. I was aware of my homosexual feelings at the tender age of 4. Thank you, Guy Madison: http://www.guymadison.com/images/396_DarkGuy202.jpg

 
My unfortunate incarceration in the arms of Holy Mother Church was a hormonal suppression which didn’t work because the Franciscan Order was not in the habit of dosing Lupron to the brothers. It was combined with the post-adolescent desperation for love which finally ended at the age of 55 or so.


I celebrated my senior prom in 2010 at The Stonewall Inn on Christopher Street when I turned 62. It is now After the Prom when I am safely ensconced in Philadelphia where I was born.
 

Living with incurable prostate cancer hasn’t suppressed the incurable teenager within me--Sometimes not so within. I can now look back on the hormonal adventures which I experienced in many places on two continents. If somewhat lacking in quality, it was a very quantitative life.  There are still a couple of things I want to do~ Now! On to the quality …


1 comment :

iain said...

Aloha Giovanni
I have only lately stumbled across your wonderful blog; this entry (Oct. 9th) is moving, inspiring, and poignant in that nostalgic way which only us older gay men seem able to understand - I'm 65, and knew I was, well, *different* when I was 8. All because of a) a boy I went to school with (his name was Tony) and b) because of Steve Reeves in 'Hercules'.

I hope you continue with the qualitative in your life. This aging thing seems to creep up on us all, including our dearest friends.

If I may be so presumptuous - I look forward to visiting your blog again, and often, and may I dare wish you much love. From Los Angeles,
All the very best, Godfrey Hamilton